The Goofs up in Denver liked Black Friday a LOT,
But the Jill, who lived just south of Denver, did NOT!
The Jill hated Black Friday...the whole Black Friday season!
No need to ask why, I will tell you the reason.
It could be that the merchants' advertised sales
were nothing but fiction, and myths and tall tales.
It could be that the supposed "season's best",
Were nothing but summer clothes whose prices were lessed.
But, I think that the most likely reason of all,
Was because the Jill was stuck in the overcrowded mall!
"These people," sneered the Jill, "are driving me crazy!"
"These people's manners," said the Jill, "are seeming quite hazy."
"They push and they shove and they cut in the line."
"And someone grabbed a gift that I had claimed as mine!"
As the Jill sat watching a clerk curl her kids' hair,
All she could do was sit with a catatonic stare.
"Why?" whined the Jill, "did I say I would come?"
"My Amazon shopping cart would surely have done!"
But, the Jill was quite stuck, right smack in the mall,
And then came the very worst part of all.
The hair-curling girly started to cry!
She asked us why we wouldn't buy the $200.00 iron...WHY?!
And THEN, the hair-curling girly feeling a sales loss,
offered us a GREAT discount (to 130) from her Italian Boss!
And so it went all over the place.
Til Angi wanted to smack the Jill right in the face!
But Angi and the girls restrained themselves strongly.
And the Jill...she began to see what went so wrongly.
It wasn't worth coupons, the sales, the pass.
It wasn't worth the drive, the crowd or the gas.
Black Friday, it seems, wasn't worth anything at all.
Just a big excuse for jamming the mall!
And then the Jill got an idea.
The Jill got a wonderful, Jilly IDEA!
"Next year," exclaimed the Jill, "I will listen to Sherri!"
"I won't listen to Angi and my Friday will be merry...VERY!"
"I will stay home on Black Friday, like a petri amoeba,
And I will decorate the great Tree of Sheba!"
And what happened then, after the Black Friday Flap?
The Jill, she herself, took a Black Friday Nap!!!
NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER AGAIN WILL I SHOP ON BLACK FRIDAY!!!!
6 comments:
OH, NO, you DIDN'T!!!
If you had told me YOU (and not just the girls) were considering it, I would have lovingly told you, "YOU're NUTS!Don't do it!" Please tell me you and Angi got at least ONE killer deal on SOMETHING to make it worth it.
dude-- cannot believe you let angi talk you into BF shopping-- i amazonned (hmm- do i double the "n" there??) and targeted and llbeaned on line-- free shipping my friend!!!
i did venture to walmart AFTER a run at noon- but it had been ransacked-- nada, nothing. stick with us amazoners, sweetie-- no cars, no getting up early, no rude people... you can shop AND drink egg nog at the same time!!!
ps-- LOVED LOVED your poem!!!!
oh.my.word. were you following kali and i around the mall???? sounds like you might have been!
hahahaha! if you should get the urge to black friday shop next year, send me a message and i will remind you why you shouldn't :) cause that's what friends do :)
Yes definitely NOT worth it, I will agree to that. My head STILL hurts from all the chaos and masses of people. But at least I wasn’t acting like the Grinch! But you made it and survived to blog about it. I give you way too much blogging material. ; )
I love you my dear friend and promise to never take you OR myself Black Friday shopping again. Next year I will take Emily’s advice and stay home and drink my eggnog latte and shop online.
And Sherri......NADA on the killer deals!
Jilly forgot
amidst much Christmas Cheer
that she hates to shop
EVERY time of the year!
Jilly’s so funny
to believably think
that the mall on Black Friday
wouldn’t totally stink
I’m glad she survived
the crowds at the mall
so she can tell us this tale
no matter how small
a tale that is telling
about Black Friday’s lack
with humor and hubris
though she’ll never go back....
Lovin' the poetry laydays!
80)
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ps- glad you survived, otherwise I'd have to stop trying to figure out how in the world to get my family out to visit yours!
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