ROAD TRIP!

"Honey, Ahmuna tike you to the Barrel.  They treat you raht at the Barrel."   Tim Hawkins: I'm No Rockstar

Well, here it is.  The first post from the road trip to California.  Musings and observations from St. George, Utah.

We made excellent timing today!  We left the house at 4:03am...just three minutes after estimated departure time...pretty good for 5 kids, 2 parents, 4 suitcases, one ice chest and 5 million pieces of candy, also known as "bribes" (yes, on a 20 hour car trip through 4 states, I have NO, NO, NO problem with a little bribery!).  We didn't stop for breakfast until we hit the booming metropolis of Rifle, Colorado at 8:15am.  There was a high possibility that we could still be there, as we encountered a roundabout there!  YIKES!  And me, without Karri! Carl actually had to go on it twice because we were so discombobulated from our roundabout dizziness that we missed the McDonald's on the first go.  So, while I hyperventilated into a bag, the rest of the crew maintained watch to point out 5 different exit strategies so that they could get their McMuffins!  Whew!  Thank goodness, my husband is MUCH better at navigating those stinkin' things than I am.  After breakfast, we made a quick run to Starbucks because we were getting really close to Utah.  And,as any of you coffee experts know, once you are in Utah, a good cup of coffee can be as hard to find as a stiff drink!  So we made our last Starbucks run until Nevada.

We continued on remarkably well.  Praise God!  The girls were awake for about an hour of the 11 hour drive today, with Gecko being awake for about three.  That leaves.....Sam.

If you followed our California trip two years ago, you may remember me being a blithering idiot by the time I returned home.  That was because Sam was 1.5 and had only been home for 9 months and he CRIED all the way to and from California!

Sam was awake for about TEN of the 11 hour car trip today.  And he was phenomenal!  He did not cry once!  As a matter of fact, only one person cried today, and it wasn't ME!  6.5 hours into the drive I finally broke out the Rolo's from the Bag O'Bribery....but only to reward everyone for doing so awesome!  I only had to dip into the Bag of Bribedom one other time today, and that was only to keep two of my children from sniping at each other (and they weren't the 3 and 5 year olds) and to keep a certain lizard, who shall remain nameless, from crying for the last 5 minutes into St. George, where we are staying.  That, in my book, is a STUPENDOUS trip!

Sam, the Trooper

And it just keeps getting better!  We checked into the Holiday Inn here and it looks like we are in the Honeymoon Suite....economy edition, of course, and with 5 extra people.  But....this room is bigger than my first apartment!  No exaggeration!  And, Gecko was thrilled because the beds are Murphy Beds that pull down from the wall....JUST LIKE AT THE FIRE STATION!  Wow!  The day doesn't end any better for a 5 year old boy than that!

After a quick dip in the pool, everyone showered and we were off to dinner at a fine dining establishment here in St. George.  That being....Cracker Barrel.

The Barrel

I love Cracker Barrel.  Their food is decent....but my favorite thing about "The Barrel" is that no matter how  gross I feel from sitting on my butt for 11 hours eating junk/fast food...I always feel better about myself when I go there.  Any self-image struggles I had before walking in there, are gone the minute I sit down.  Let's face it, even with their down-home comfort goodies, they are still the WalMart of restaurants.

And tonight, I felt downright frumpy.  All messy-haired, make-up drained, stinky-breathed and stretchy clothes.  (Angi...it is a good thing I didn't wear the capri sweats!  I would have fit in all too well!).  But, as I watched the hostess seat the other guests (Man, as I watched the HOSTESS), I began to feel as hot as any Hollywood starlet around today!  I mean, at least I have all my teeth!

And then it happened.  I sat there feeling all smug.  I felt confident in my intellect.  How could I not?  I was surrounded by bumpkins.  And not just one or two.  WHOLE BUMPKIN FAMILIES!  Not only was I HOT...I was a GENIUS compared to the company surrounding me!  And so to try to douse my prideful attitude, I picked up that little golf tee game thingy that they have at every table.

Not only could I NOT win that game...I became consumed by it! I almost didn't eat for want of proving myself better than The Barrel Tee Game!  Jump, jump, jump, FOUR left!  Jump, jump, jump, THREE left!  Jump, jump, jump....aaaaackkkk!  Curse you Golf Tee Game!

But the worst part was....as I looked around at all the toothless, hairless (or hairy, depending on which cousin married which) folks around me, I noticed one thing all of them had in common.  They continually played the Golf Tee Game of Death, too.  But, while I took 10 minutes to finish a round, they casually completed theirs in a minute or two.  And. They. All. Had.

ONE.

Tee. left in the board!

Today, at The Barrel, I had a life changing experience.  Yeah, yeah..".don't judge a book by it's cover."  "Grace, grace."  "It's what's on the inside that counts."  yada yada.  I learned that junk lesson, too.  But more importantly, I learned that perhaps healthy eating and good dental care are overrated.  That hair, whether on your head or only under your arms,  is of minimal consequence to your reasoning ability.  That cousins may just make GREAT spouses.

I have one I plan on looking up once we get to California!