LETTING GO

My friend Shirin is a wise woman.  She thinks I am sometimes wise myself.  She recently said that she knew when her kids were born that the rest of their life was about letting them go. Wise.  She felt I knew that, too.  Not wise.

The fact is, I wasn't walking very closely with the Lord when the first of my children was born.  The good thing is, that really doesn't matter to God.  My oldest knew the Lord more intimately than I did when she was younger!  So, I really didn't get that I was supposed to be preparing her for the world.  To be in it and not of it.

Somewhere along the line, the Lord showed me that my oldest is HIS child.  I just get to raise her.  And raise her for His glory.  And I did my best in my broken way.  But, it wasn't until last year that I really realized that I was preparing her to be gone.  She had done everything I had ever asked of her.....and more importantly she had done all God had asked of her.  It wasn't about her part anymore, but mine.  And my part was letting go.

And I sit here the day after her 17th birthday,getting ready to say good-bye to her for over THREE weeks, wondering how in the world I got here.  Any woman who loves her child can tell you, no matter how convicted she is that she needs to let go, her instinct is to hold on.  To be selfish.  To keep that treasure to herself a while longer.  But that is why my letting go is a great testimony!

Don't believe the lie that all teenagers are trouble and difficult.  Don't buy into the myth that teenage girls are good for nothing but drama.  Don't listen to what society says about girls in their teens.  I am here to tell you that those words are not true of all girls.  I have LOVED Catey's teen years.  I feel closer to her than ever before.  I love traveling, talking, laughing, teaching and hanging out with her.  It is only by God's grace that I can look at her and let go.  Everything in me wants to hold on tighter.  To add more time to savor.

But everything God is saying is that it is time to hold that treasure open-handed (to use a phrase from another very wise and loving Auntie).

God has said in His Word, “An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.” 1 Corinthians 7:34b  It is not my time to be selfish, but to be supportive, not just of my daughter, but of what the Lord is doing in my daughter and asking of my daughter.  He promises “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.  I will guide you with My eye.”   Psalm 32:8.  It is time that my instruction becomes less and trust in the Lord's instruction becomes more.  He is the only one who knows His plan for her.  She is ready to trust that plan....I need to as well.  He is guiding her to use her gifts, which He has freely bestowed on her.  In Ephesians 4:12, we are told that the gifts we have been given are “to equip the saints for the work of the ministry, for the building up of the body of Christ.”   As an unmarried woman it is time now for her to use those gifts and  be concerned only with the Lord’s affairs and to be devoted to Him in body and spirit. Who am I to ask the Lord to let me hold her longer in my hand instead of answering His call?   Who am I to think that my continued instruction would be better for her than leaning more greatly on God's instruction?   Who am I to ask that the Lord let her use her gifts only where I would have her be (close to me)?  


Who am I to ask that this treasure be mine alone?


I may not be the wisest of women, but I do know that the Lord has done a mighty work in me.  And that He is in control. And that He loves my daughter even more than I do. And that His grace is sufficient for me.

And it is that grace that allows me to pray for my daughter, my treasure, that when the Lord does call her, I can let go and pray that she will say, 

"Here am I!  Send me!"


And I will stand close behind her, with my hands open wide....

letting go.